Hindsight Hinney here with my world shattering predictions for the year 2012. I have consulted the stars, the people on Mars, all the psychotics…I mean psychics of the world, a few televangelist, and your mom and dad. My techniques have been proven creditable throughout the years, by the Scientific Studies for People Who Make Predictions or the People Who Should be Wearing a Funny White Coat MDPhDPADODOBIRD.
1. A regime will fall and new regime will take over a country.
2. Cancer and bedbugs will be cured through the use of nuclear waste. Which they have found more effective than chemo. If you are going to kill everything; you might as well kill everything!
3. Jesus Christ will come to the earth. And I am not saying this because every generation after He left, thought they were the generation when He would come back. I overheard the televangelists talking in the bathroom. When I walked in one said, “Oh, Jesus, he’s back.”
4. Mars will use Jupiter’s rings for the next world hula hoop contest.
5. Brad and Angelina will get divorced and then married.
6. While Jennifer and Justin find out they are expecting a litter, after adopting a pregnant lab from the SPCA. Jennifer thought the lab had quit smoking too.
7. Perez Hilton will put on his granny panties and fight Brad Goreski for the title of Queen Bee of Beverly Hills.
8. The Dallas Cowboys will regain their title as America’s team after beating the Brooklyn Dodgers 27-26.
9. The Real Housewives will each get an endorsement contract from the new exercise company PLASTICIZE ME! They will be bouncing off the walls with joy!
10. David Letterman will stop his “Top Ten” list in favor of my list “The Hinney Hole View Daily Update”.
11. The world will have 8 hurricanes, 6 tsunamis, 4 earthquakes, and 2 fires or maybe it is 2 hurricanes, 4 tsunamis, 6 earthquakes, and 8 fires. I know it is 2, 4, 6, and 8. You pick the disaster, but don’t pick your nose! YUK!
12. A new President will be elected President in the USA, he/she will be the last one you would want, I mean expect as President.
13. The terrorists will shave off all of their body hair and look like scary bowling pins when naked. All because new American Muslim is in charge of translating the notices on the Mosque wall. The sign should have read…“We are peaceful Muslims, no terrorist, or soliciting allowed and please remove your sandals before entering.” Instead it read… “No terrorist can enter our Mosque without first removing your body hairy piece.”. Could the CIA have found a new tactic to help identify terrorists or chemo patients in the airports?
14. Christmas will be delayed next year, because Santa is having to relocate. The North Pole Melted.
15. Facebook will start requiring your thumb print to sign onto their website. I told you to stop picking your nose!
I would like to wish everyone, a Happy, Healthy, Loving, Jesus Walk-Filled next year, because just like my list, the rest is only junk! Love to All! Joni Berry